Don’t live for the LIKES


By roni.lacs on 29th Jan 2022

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Award-winning RTHK Pinoy Life  presenter and Pangyao resident wordsmith Ron R. Lacson  shares his thoughts

 

ALRIGHT, IT'S NOW 2022 – and how are you, my dear Pangyaos? This is our first conversation of the year, and I hope you’ll always enjoy our discussions. But I’m going to contradict myself here. “I’m not in it for your likes.” Have you ever heard that phrase before?

 

Nahhh. Maybe not. And if you have, I bet it wasn’t very often. Why? Well, because almost everyone wants, needs and yearns to be liked. Each one of us likes to live a life full of “likes” and could not enjoy life without being liked. Confusing? Do you think you’ll like where this conversation is leading us?

 

Let’s examine ourselves for a while. Let’s start with Facebook. Why do you post photos, quotes, statements, and all the rest, on social media?  Why do you share a status like, “I’m feeling fantastic (or lonely) today”? Why do you post what you ate for breakfast, or which places you have been lately, or how you’ve taken a bath, or which book you’ve just read, or what brand of toothpaste you’ve just used? Well, you like people to like your post. So every time you see your FB friends (although, let’s be honest, some of them are not really your friends …) “liked” your post, you feel ecstatic, like you are riding a pendulum swinging between the clouds and the rainbow. 

 

 

You like your FB friends to “like” your post; the more likes, the happier you are. And that’s precisely the reason why you are also compelled to click the big yellow emoji button (like, love, care, haha, wow) whenever you see your friends’ posts. You hope that, in return, they will like your posts too. You scratch their back, they scratch yours.

 

 

 

"Never assume that someone likes you by their sweetness. Sometimes you’re just an option when they’re bored..." - Anonymous

 

 

 

 

And why is this happening? Because you like “likes”, and they like “likes”. You want something in return for what you’ve done. After all, you worked hard for your post (cough), and your virtual friends want something in return, too. Everything good you do in life must be reciprocated. 

 

 

And that’s not just in social media – I use the example of Facebook because it’s the most popular platform among my Pangyaos in Hong Kong – the same phenomenon unravels every day in real life. You do things you think people will like. You are careful in expressing your ideas because you want people to like your propositions. Your principles are sometimes (if not always) influenced by the majority because you want to be “in” with your peers; you want them to like you. People’s opinions sway your actions. Perhaps it is also safe to say that it would deter you if no one likes your ideas.

 

 

You go with the flow, you join the bandwagon, you are with the crowd – and that’s how you get more liked because you are with the people who you like (or aspire to be), and you think (or pretend to think) they like you too. You give help because you know or hope someone will like you. You want acknowledgment, recognition for whatever good deeds you put forth.  

 

 

So where’s the nobility? Where’s the dignity in living your life, if you always allow yourself to be swimming with the ocean’s current? Where’s the fulfillment if you cannot think and act free from the shackles of wanting to be liked? And where are your values if you do good things only because of others’ approval? Where’s your dream then? 

 

 

I have news for you. You are not living on this planet for the likes. You are not only in it for the likes. Let me have the liberty to provide a few unsolicited pieces of advice:

 

  • Be a freethinker. Base your ideas and thoughts on evidence and deduction, not popularity
  • Don’t let your beliefs be influenced by other people’s personal politics, religion or outside organisations
  • Help your Pangyaos because they need help, not because you want them to like you
  • Express your idea even if you think it might be unpopular. Don’t consider whether people will like it or not. Many significant innovations were once ridiculed in the past
  • Go after your dream – your very own dream – and not others’ dream for you, and not because you want others to like your dream. Be your own person

 

 

We’re having this conversation to convey my thoughts and ideas, not because I’m looking for likes. I write this to express, not to impress. Getting readers to “like” this column wasn’t my goal when I started to tap the keyboard. Instead, I want to write what I think could help people improve how they live life, in my own little ways. Whether you’ll like this or not is entirely up to you.

 

 

Sincerely, I am not in it for the likes. I cannot recall when I consciously began behaving this way, but I am glad I did. I think, act, speak and write not for the likes but for the freedom to express based on reason, empiricism and science. And yes, that includes whatever I want to post on social media.

 

 

Don’t live for the likes. Be proud and free to say, “I’m not in it for the likes!”

 

 

So did you like this conversation?