I just want to share my conversation with my eldest son : Son:ma, anu petsa uwi mo? Me:matagal pa siguro, baka next year na. Son:ay ang daya! ☹️☹️☹️ Me:bakit anak? Son:diba SAbi mo uuwi ka this Christmas? Me:Di pumayag ang amo ako dahil sA pandemic, saka nalang daw pag ok na ang lahat. Hayaan mo anak padalhan ko nalang Kayu NG pera para sA noche buena at pambili NG regalo😁😁😁.

Son:hindi naman yun ma ehh😔😔😔 Me:eh anu pala anak? 🤔🤔🤔 Son:miss ka na namin ma.. 😞😞😞 This is the first time that my son open up his feelings to me. I am not an emotional person and I seldom cry,but suddenly tears rolled down my checks and I felt a very sharp pain in my chest. It was like a knife being struck in the middle of of heart. I sat on my bed and cried for a moment. I don't know what to tell my son to console him. I can never compensate with my absence, not with gifts, not with money. And at that moment I know at, some point I failed as a mother. 😭😭😭😭.

But what can I do? I don't have any choice, if only I have one, I will always choose to be with them. I talked to God that night and asked him to give me enough knowledge on how to save more money, so that I can come back in the Philippines soon. I asked him to protect my kids always. Probably I will be spending my Christmas eve alone again. I know I am not the only one, a lot of domestic helper are the same. But this is the sacrifice that we need to do for the better future of our kids. So just hang on and don't give up. Someday, when the time is right we will have a happy merry Christmas with our families again... 😀😀😀