DO YOU FEEL WORTHY?  IF YOU DON'T, WHAT MUST YOU DO SO YOU WILL?
by Ron R. Lacson


There are times in life when you may not feel worthy. It's a feeling of unworthiness. Yung parang sa tingin natin ay wala tayong halaga sa mundo. Then we feel down. And sometimes, dito nagsisimula ang depression, dahil feeling mo you have less or no role in this world.

So, where does the feeling of unworthiness come from? Saan nanggagaling ito?  Ipinanganak tayong feeling worthy or may pagpapahalaga sa sarili (look at the children; they act as if they own the world; or even the universe). Bakit nawawala ang 'feeling of being worthy' along the way in our life?

Feeling worthy is about constructing your internal vigor and energy. It gives you the ability to respect yourself; it provides you a flourishing sense of self-awareness, and it creates a 'Live and Let Live' attitude.

Here are some of the things we can do:

1. Never Criticize Yourself Harshly. 

We all have our own limits; it varies, but we all have saturation points. We are not superheroes who can do things with superhuman abilities (well, think of it, even 'The Avengers' have limitations 😊).

Be delighted with your own individual capabilities. Always remember that you are a unique individual.  Huwag mong i-down ang sarili mo. Of course, it does not mean that you have to be cocky or sobrang yabang or super sobrang tiwala sarili mo, na madami ka nang mali dahil marami kang hindi alam, and still you refuse to acknowledge your shortcomings. Hindi naman ganon. We also have to accept our limitations reasonably, and that's why we advocate that all of us should have the desire to learn new things and never stop doing our best to improve ourselves.

But never be cruel to yourself.  It will only give you self-pity, and then you will feel unworthy and undeserving. So, praise yourself. Pat yourself in the back when you want it. Treat yourself (sa Jollibee or sa McDonald…, or sa Fine Dining kung gusto mo, sama mo ako) and say you deserve it. Remember, YOU ARE WORTHY.


2. Don't Compare Yourself With Others. 

The act of comparing yourself with anyone is a sure way to make you feel so less than somebody. Eto yung lagi mong iniisip na kaya ka hindi umaangat ay dahil mas magaling si Pedro, or mas mahusay si Inday sa iyo. As a result, you do not feel your worth. Feeling mo, lagi kang natatapakan. Hala, kasi compare ka nang compare dyan, parang 'KUMPARE' mo na si COMPARE.

Think of a vegetable plant, let's say 'Talong,' (ha? ayaw mo ng Talong?). Ok, sige 'Okra' na lang (ayaw din). Alright, 'Ampalaya' (wala nang reklamo!!). You would see and observe that 'Ampalaya' grows and blooms amid other vegetable plants. It does not compare herself with others. Basta grow lang siya nang grow. Bloom lang siya ng bloom. Kahit mapait pa siya sa tingin or panlasa nyo, deadma lang siya, because that's who she is, that's her individuality. Ang pagiging MAPAIT is her talent; that is what she can bring to the world (kita nyo na, ang ganda ng example natin –  'Ampalaya'). Hindi nya kino-compare ang sarili nya kay Atis Tamis.

Kasi nga, ang pag co-compare will lead you to belittle yourself. Minamaliit mo ang sarili mo. Instead of recognizing and developing your skills and talents, you only see what others have, which may lead you to anxiety and depression. Hindi mo naiisip na meron kang mga bagay na pwede mo ring ipagmalaki. You see other's worth, and you don't see yours.

And let me add, iwasan mo and run away from anyone who only makes you feel that you are unworthy or a small person dahil gusto nya i-compare mo ang sarili mo sa kanya. Kung' jowa' or 'syota' mo siya, mag break na kayo (pero singilin mo muna yung utang nya sa iyo bago kayo mag part ways 😊).  The important thing is that you must be with someone who respects your individuality because YOU ARE WORTHY.

3. Be Proud of Your Values And Set Them Straight.

In Algebra (yes, Math po ito, hindi ito pinsan ng Zebra), you often hear the phrase 'Find the Value of X.'  Well, in life, you need to find and determine your values too. Know your boundaries. Set your values.

Values are about what you consider essential to the life you want to live. They dictate your activities, priorities, and character. Nasa core belief system mo yan at sila ang nag de-define ng mga behaviors mo.
Alamin mo at i-apply mo ang mga values so not only you will know it but also others. 

For example, if you value honesty and trustworthiness so much, express it and let everyone know, para walang mag-aattempt na magsisinungaling sa iyo or lokohin ka. Kasi yan ang supreme value mo.

So dapat very clear ka kung ano ang acceptable behavior para sa iyo. Let people know how you would like to be spoken to or dealt with. At pag kailangan, you must express your opinions on specific subjects or matters. You know where you STAND (or SIT, kasi baka pagod ka na at gusto mo nang umupo😊 ). Tigasin ka at hindi ka ma-o-okray pagdating sa mga bagay na you hold in high regards. You don't need others to prove your value — sa halip you have an inner radar in your senses to determine what is right and wrong.

If you don't tolerate people who cheat others, let them know. If you hate racism, tell them. This way, people will respect your principles, and they know you stand for something.

This way, you can say to yourself, I AM WORTHY.

4. Appreciate And Be Happy About The Achievements Of Others. 

Maging masaya sa tagumpay ng iba. Kayanin mo, kahit alam ng puso mo (pati na ng atay at balun-balunan mo) na medyo mahirap talaga.  Be happy sa kanilang mga accomplishments even if they are your competitors. Mahirap nga, but it's worth it. You will benefit from it because if you feel bitter about others' success, you belittle your capability to value others' talents and skills and harm yourself by putting grudges in the space of your heart that is meant to develop your worth.

Yung space (ok, 'KALAWAKAN' kung gusto mo ng tagalog, masyado ka namang choosy) na para sa pagkakaroon mo ng self-worth ay na-o-occupy ng bitterness and envy.  Huwag ganon. Always reserve space or kalawakan for your self-worth.

When you criticize others for their achievements or kung gusto mo silang hilahin pababa (o naisip mo ba yung 'talangka mentality?'), it just shows your inferiority complex. It will delay your growth in developing your self-worth. You are not building a good foundation for your self-worth. Kung baga sa pagpapagawa ng bahay, mahina ang nilalagay mong pundasyon para maging matibay ang tahanan mo.  If you appreciate other people's work, others will appreciate you too, which is a form of respect and satisfaction that adds to your sense of self-worth.

So appreciate others' success.  Wish them well. The 'Law of Attraction' will make good things happen to you like you will be successful too, and others will be happy for you too.  Huwag kang inggitero or inggitera para your self-worth is not only intact but also keeps on developing. This way, you can say 'I AM WORTHY.'

5. Have The Power To Accept What You Feel; Acknowledge It.

Don't lie to yourself.  Tanggapin mo na sa ngayon, feel mo na wala kang worth or you feel unworthy. Kasi nga, before you can dig deeper and find a solution to your feeling of unworthiness, you need to recognize that you have it. It's an emotion that is making you unable to function the way you should. Pinipilay ng emosyon na ito ang paglalakad mo sa normal na buhay. 'It's Just Emotion That's Taking You Over' –   Ok, alam ko rin na kanta yon ng Bee Gees, but the message is clear – Emotion is Powerful.

But again, take note that recognizing and accepting your emotion does not mean that you are surrendering. Sa katunayan, you can move now and take action to address it. Kasi nga if nasa denial stage ka and you don't accept the way you feel, you will be stuck with the feeling of being unworthy. Nakalubog ka sa self-pity and self-doubt nang hindi mo alam.  It has power over you.  So, suppose you are honest to yourself, and you acknowledge the emotion of unworthiness, it then gives you the power to remove the power of emotions over you (puro power na lang yata ah, pansin ko lang).  May sarili ka nang power.

And because you know where you are now, may power ka na to move into the direction to say –  'I AM WORTHY.'

An adage says, 'you can only know which direction to go to, if you know where you are.'

❤️

Again, remember this – unworthiness is a feeling and a strong one. So, if it continues, your subconscious mind takes over it. It develops roots; it will grow, and you will keep repeating that pattern without being aware of it.  It will become your inner demon that feeds on your negative emotion.

Apply the five (5) recommendations above. You need REPROGRAMMING. You need to rewire your subconscious mind. Give yourself new thinkings, new statements, new principles, new words, new mottos, and, if possible, new relationships. 

And then, open your arms, raise your head, and shout at the top of your lungs (ala Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic); 'I AM WORTHY!'
👍